So. Giggles Is Back is this shitttt :)

Hola! (Actually, scratch that, I don't like spanish.)

Hi!
This is my first post in a very large number of days. I find it rather despicable that no one has found the time to inquire into my disappearance. I could have been gone for a variety of reasons, but you didn't care. So, just to make you feel that much better, I'm going to tell you what did NOT happen to me while you were off not caring about what COULD have been happening to me.

1) I was committing suicide by {choose an option from a to -}

a) suffocating myself by wrapping my face in plastic wrap
b) cutting my wrists open and letting them bleed all over the flipping place until I died slowly
c) hanging myself from a ceiling fan
d) eating rabid rats that have been living in sewage pipes for over a year
e) walking around shooting people so I could be fairly sentenced for death
f) climbing the Eiffel tower so I could jump off, and because of the shape hit my body along several rungs, splattering blood among the parisians and tourists

And I will get back to this, but i have no more time. shame. :)

The ultimate playlist:
For just whenever, and in no order.


- Scarborough Fair - Simon & Garfunkel
- Eet - Regina Spektor 
- Hazy (Feat. William Fitzsimmons) - Rosi Golan
- Hear You Me - Jimmy Eat World
- With or Without You - U2
- I Want to Save You - Something Corporate 
- Collide - Howie Day
- If You Were Here - Cary Brothers
- High - James Blunt


Seriously. Don't diss my music. I will find you and pour gasoline on you and light you on fire then cut those pieces up like sushi. I will cut you up like a sista from the hood.


Also, I need help:
Hide & Seek - Imogen Heap
Lyrics:


Where are we? What the hell is going on?
The dust has only just begun to fall,
Crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling.
Spin me round again and rub my eyes.
This can't be happening.
When busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines.
All those years they were here first.

Oily marks appear on walls
Where pleasure moments hung before.
The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this
still life.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines. (Oh, you won't catch me around here)
Blood and tears,
They were here first.

Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that you only meant well? Well, of course you did.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it's all for the best? Ah of course it is.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it's just what we need? And you decided this.
Mmm what you say?
What did she say?

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit. 


I will give my growing college fund to the mothersucker who can properly interpret this with their own mind, or at least, give me a good enough answer to figure it out on my own. It's bothering me.


Peace, Queen 

There's still the world left if it'll take me.

And I guess there's not much left to do but wait for everyone to agree that i can leave.

Which is soonish. I hope.

This isn’t it,

There’s still the world left, if it’ll take me,

There’s still the open air until I stop breathing.

There’s still love until my heart breaks into a million pieces,

There’s still life until I give up living,

There’s still a race until I turn around a say,

THIS ISN’T IT, No, not at all!

This fight ain’t ever ending till we fall!

           

CrashBang, There’s no one to save me!

Crash Bang, There’ no one to catch me when I fall

With the world to witness as my god,

And these lips as they give their final speech,

They’ll talk and talk, but never preach.

Until they hear the Crash Bang of a soldier’s fall,

Whatever. I don't know. I'm kind of. Confused.

And I don't know what's really happening to me.

This drifting thing, it drifting like a lot, just saying. 

I don't know. Whatever. Screw this. 

She's a Crashing Star and He's Just a Shithead.

DISCLAIMER: There's a lot of swearing in this post. Deal with it.

It hurts when a friend thinks she can get away with anything.

It hurts when she knew she was hurting you but still wanted forgiveness.

It hurts when she thinks she can get everything she wants, except AP math. Seriously? I lose two good friends and the only problem she has in her life is that she’s not in AP math.

I do not detest her. I can’t. We have “history” together. And she wants me to be her friend, despite screwing me over, because of that reason. She says, “Queen, why don’t you come over?” And she has the audacity (n. willingness to take bold risks) to look me in the eye and say she wants to become better friends with me. Because we’ve drifted. And I argue with everybody to go. Because I always thought she was a good friend. That she would never hurt me. Never take away something I cared so much about.

Not that I care anymore. He helped her screw me over. When I told Poopiehead that I liked him, the only person he cared about was her. He asked me if that was the reason she said no, because I liked him and she was apparently sweet enough not to hurt me like she did. He blamed ME. And that’s what sucks. That I didn’t realize at the time that Poopiehead not only screwed me over, but the only reason we were such good friends was because I tried everything for him. Even when it hurt, I still talked to him, listened to his problems when BELIEVE IT OR NOT POOPIHEAD, I HAVE A LIFE TOO AND I GET PROBLEMS TOO. It sounds so depressing, but I always listened to him. A L W A Y S. and now I don’t even know who he is. It’s like I opened myself up to a stranger for more than a year.

Fuck them.

I’m not saying I’m pissed at her still. Truth is, I don’t care about their lives. It’s just that I made so much of an effort with the both of them, but they didn’t care at all, and now she’s begging for things to go back the way they were but she needs to lose something, because not only did I lose the guy I was nutty about, but also two good friends because of a relationship that, let’s face it, will one day end. Which sounds bitchy. And maybe they’re hopelessly in love. So why did they go behind my back for two weeks? That just proves that they knew they were doing something wrong.

Good for them. I’m happy for them, I really am. But they need to stop caring about how I feel. They showed just how much they do when they lied to me for two weeks.

So Poopiehead and Superstar, or whatever your name is, this is our last goodbye.

Peace the fuck out,

Queen.

P.S. I need a new guy to like. I wish our school wasn’t filled with so many retards.

P.P.S. If you’re reading this Superstar, or whatever, can you please not act like you care about my feelings anymore? Just stop. Let me heal without you. You can’t always get what you want. And if you break up with Poopiehead because of this, I will never speak with you again. I’m not even kidding.

And you know what else?

I. Don't. Give. A. Shit. Anymore.

You Can't Always Get What You Want, But If You Try Sometimes...

There’s a feeling.

And usually, it leaves you feeling unpleasant and hollow, but you’re too tired to feel it completely, too tired to cry, so you become numb. And you’re supposed to be busy, supposed to be working, but you can’t feel your fingers anymore and you drop your pen and close your hands into fists and force yourself to focus.

It’s not depression, because you can smile, you CAN but you don’t know if you want to just right then. So you listen to that good-feeling song and you’re forced to smile and laugh at the fact that you even felt that way for a while.

It’s only because you know something’s missing, but you know you just have to wait a little longer and everything will be okay, because you’re always just starting to live your life. The moment you stop learning something or feeling something or just living is the moment you die, but still there’s something left and that’s memories. And the more memories you leave behind means more flowers laid on your grave, more people smiling in your memory. You make them proud to say they once knew you, once talked to you; you once made them feel like themselves again. And they thank God because they knew you at a point. Amazing, isn’t it? Being missed like that.

Because you’re just human, and you feel the same as billions of others just like you. And you want to be heard because you think you’re different. And to a certain extent, I guess you are. But you’re the same because you live for the same thing.

You live for you.

Queen. 

Of Acquiring Dignity and Bollywood's Healing Powers

Today I spent a lot of time thinking. Which is weird, because I do not do that a lot. But I was thinking about boys.

Many people think that girls who think about boys are shallow. I find that not to be true. It’s when the girl in question stops thinking about anything else when she becomes idiotic. Otherwise, she’s fine. Unless she liked a certain Poopiehead. For three years. Roughly. Then she is an idiot. Now she can’t even watch the old Bollywood movies she used to watch with so much love because they’re always about best friends falling in love and she used to be good friends, okay, not best friends, but really good friends with Poopiehead and she was almost going to be even closer but the two IDIOTS BIG FREAKING IDIOTS ruined any chances of that happening, and now every time those movies come up and other cute ones (Kuch Kuch Hota Hain, Ishq Vishq, Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na, Kal Ho Naa Ho (but that one is pretty self-explanatoryily cry-generating)) she bursts into tears because she feels like she is a major fail and he doesn’t even know the effect he had on her.

Anyway, so today I was thinking, and I was realizing that if I was this hypothetical sad excuse for a girl, I would move on because obviously, Poopiehead’s not EXACTLY what she thought he was. He’s also very self-centered and worries too much about what other people think about him. But otherwise, he’s nice. And he cares about what this girl thinks. And he listens to her. And he understands her even when she can’t explain. And he has a smile that can light up her entire day. And then she goes around grinning like an idiot, walking into pillars and poles strategically placed around her school campus for lovesick teenage IDIOTS such as herself.

But now she has to think about herself.

So, blog-readers, this is the last time Queen will allow herself to think about Poopiehead. Because from now on, he is ancient history.

Queen

P.S: Giggles stop being so suicidal. Monkey is an idiot and he does NOT deserve you. He NEVER did. I always thought so. But I never said that. Because you say that sort of stuff to your friends when they realize the guy they once thought was so awesome is just a CLEAN, OVER-CONFIDENT,  ADMITTEDLY HANDSOME JACKASS. 

I am cyber-hugging you now :)

Today felt like my hair was shining like the sun on the water.

No, I'm not ON anything. Except, as i said before, life.
Really. I know it's hard to believe with me being so... yeah and all but bigger miracles have happened.
Our Irish teacher told us about her son's first buying things incident. It's very cute how she talks about him. You can just tell she loves him. It's kind of adorable. And then I started crying (not because of the story) just because I'm weird and hormonal.

Giggles